Guy Tries to Be Funny Fart
Let's face it – every boat needs a name. Some are named after loved ones, while others are the result of a well-placed pun. To be honest, though, we love the funny ones the most. Here are a few hilarious boat names sailing through the grand sea we call "the internet."
Fool Me Once…
When this guy bought a boat and decided to call it the "Unsinkable," he didn't quite think things through. He didn't realize that pretty much every single water vessel actually has the potential to sink. When the Unsinkable came to its eventual demise, the owner did the "unthinkable" – he bought another boat. However, this guy firmly believes that lightning won't strike twice. Henceforth, the new vehicle is called Unsinkable II. We're sure that part three of this Unsinkable trilogy will be out soon.
This One Slipped Through The Net
If you're a terrible fisherman, you might as well steer into the skid and be loud and proud about it. It appears that, in recent times, this particular fisherman hasn't had too much success in this neck of the woods. Or maybe it's a bluff. Maybe this guy is actually cleaning up these shores and taking home a lion's share of the fish. However, in order to cover up his success, he came up with this cool little internet-based pun for a boat name.
I Am The One Who Knots!
If you haven't seen Breaking Bad, then what the heck are you doing reading this article?! Go get some popcorn, turn on Netflix, and get ready for the TV show of the century! If you have seen the classic series, then carry on reading. We doubt that a real-life Heisenberg decided to trade in his RV for a boat and start "cooking" in it. However, there is a good chance that this sailor is going through some sort of mid-life crisis.
I'll Make You Swim With The Fishes
When this guy saw this boat at a cut-price, he knew it was an offer he could not refuse. Because of this, he decided to call his new naval home "The Codfather." Maybe this guy is an expert at fishing for cod and has opened up a restaurant. Either that or he is a big fan of the Francis Ford Coppola classic and is a sucker for a pun! Hopefully, he won't wake up next to a horse's head!
Laguna Matata
If these sailors went by the mantra "no worries" after purchasing their boat, then they might want to reconsider changing the name. You can't simply go through life with no worries whatsoever. You need to be aware and realize that bad things can happen. Of course, you don't want to become paranoid, but a healthy balance is ideal. These guys were just too carefree, which could explain why they ended up nearly sinking to the bottom of the sea.
Buoy, That's A Good One
If you are a lover of puns, then you might want to "fish" for some more boat-related articles after reading this one! If not, then we don't know what to say – this is "knot" for you? This is just another classic example of a sailor who wanted to convince the world that he has a decent command of the English language. Or, at least decent enough that he can manipulate words for comedic effect. Of course, comedy is subjective.
Safety Precautions
Some boat names choose practicality over humor or sentimentality. Take this one, for example. In the event of the vessel capsizing, passersby will notice that something is going wrong because the message will read "Uh-Oh!" This is just in case the witness failed to realize that the boat had turned the wrong way round. What they should be more worried about is what may have happened to who was on the boat. This is probably one of the most useful names on this list.
History Repeats Itself
Despite its tragic ending, many regard the Titanic as one of the most iconic ships of all time. Therefore, it would make sense for a potential seafarer to name their own vehicle in honor of the classic ship. However, ever since it was hit by an iceberg and sank all those years ago, the word "Titanic" has inevitably developed a reputation that can only be described as a curse. If you are planning on sailing your own boat, you might want to call it something else.
Classic Sibling Rivalry
Anyone who has a sibling can easily relate to this. Our best bet is that two brothers are responsible for this choice of boat names. They like to sail together. However, it's primarily to race each other and generally prove who the best sailor is. In all honesty, based on the boat names we've seen so far, we're surprised that the one called "Wood Not" wasn't spelled as "Wood Knot." We certainly wouldn't have been surprised!
It Shore Does
Bad things happen, plain and simple. We all experience pain and problems throughout our lives, it just depends on how much. In short – "sh*t happens." That classic phrase, whose origin story was fictionally told in Forrest Gump, can be found in many other areas of pop culture – most notably, bumper stickers. Therefore, it makes perfect sense that someone would use it on their own boat. Of course, it just wouldn't be right if they didn't transform it into a pun.
Aboat Time For What?
The only thing we can assume this particular pun is alluding to is the likelihood that this sailor had been waiting to acquire a boat for a long time. After years of work and saving up, he finally had the funds and resources necessary to purchase his dream sea vessel. However, we're of the opinion that it's "aboat time" that this person changed the boat's name to something else. What about "Fooling Aboat?" We like the sound of that.
Keeping It In The Family
Many will agree that family is everything. For a lot of families, going on boat trips during the weekend is a longstanding tradition. Many parents love taking the opportunity to take their children out for fishing trips. However, one day, you're going to have to leave this beautiful boat behind. Of course, it only makes sense that you would hand it over to the next generation. So this guy decided to drill that into his kids' heads early on.
Long Journey
Did we miss something? It appears that the first ever ship-turned-spaceship went completely under our radar. If this is what we hope it is, we could be in for a story of epic sci-fi proportions. This vessel has recently set sail from Hong Kong and is on its way to the planet of Uranus before stopping off in Titan to refuel. However, there is a teeny-weeny chance that Titan Uranus might actually be the name of the ship.
"Fine"-ally
Not every single sailor has cash oozing out of their pores. Some people need to rely on the banks from time to time in order to invest in their dreams. Taking a loan out can be the difference between that brand new sports car or a rundown, second hand Prius. Though we have a feeling that the owner will soon need to change the name. Once that loan is paid off, they can start thinking about calling the boat "a loan no more."
Puns For Days
Possibly the punniest boat name on this list. When you want something enough, you will do whatever it takes to make sure it is yours. However, to try to steal something shows a level of desperation that is near-on impossible to fathom. We are pretty "shore" that this boat was "knot" stolen. If we keep this up, we'll be communicating in just puns and you won't even be able to understand what the hell we're talking about. Sorry.
Looks Like He Needs Some Shade
Of course, funny and punny boat names rarely go without a strong sense of irony. With the topless sailor sitting in the sun in the background, this one is probably one of the most ironic. Although it has nothing to do with the book it is referring to, Fifty Shades of Grey, it makes sense in the context of the photo. This guy looks like he has already burned himself a bit too much. He'll be 50 shades of burnt by the end of the day.
Inception Boat
Life is like a dream, and for many, having their own boat is a dream come true. It seems like this sailor decided to get philosophical when naming his respective boats. He chose to call the main boat Illusion. As a result, it was only fitting to give the dingy a fitting name that complemented it. Therefore, he went with Reality. The big question is this though. Which came first – the reality or the illusion? Now we are confusing ourselves.
All The Cool Kids Are Doing It
When this guy bought his first boat, he really wanted to call it the S.S. Steve. Unfortunately, he's never been the type of person with strong willpower. Ever since Steve was a kid, his best friend, Kyle, always managed to convince him to do things by pressuring him. Once Kyle heard that Steve was buying a boat, he called up Steve and suggested he name the new boat Pier Pressure. Steve ended up caving to Kyle as he always has.
If It Ain't Broke, Don't Fish It
This guy needed to take out a second mortgage on his house in order to afford merely the down payment for the boat of his dreams. In his eyes, however, it was more than worth it to feel the freedom of the open water. When it came time to name his new boat, he decided to name the vessel in honor of the financial sacrifices he made. Seeing his dream become a reality was all worth it in the end.
Your Daily Dose
When this ocean enthusiast isn't cruising the waters in his yacht, he's probably in his office, where he works as a dietician. After studying nutrition in college, he developed a passion for vitamins and minerals. That's why he decided to name his boat 'Vitamin Sea.' He is currently conducting a research study to find out if time spent out on the water correlates to an increase in the body's levels of vitamin C. As of now, the results are inconclusive.
I Sea You Looking
Sometimes we see things that cause us to do a double-take. For those of us who don't like the unnecessary attention, this can be maddening. The guy who owns this boat was so sick of strangers checking out his boat that he decided to address the issue head-on by cleverly renaming his boat 'Water U Lookin' At.' Since changing his boat's name, even more people have begun staring, pointing, and even laughing. He's now considering abandoning ship and selling the vessel altogether.
2 Good 2 B True
In this day and age, it is perfectly normal to write messages to each other in text form. What happens though when you get a tech-savvy individual who also bought themselves a boat? You get a very cringe-worthy name that tries to be hip at the same time. Listen, boat owner, if you want to make a dad-joke on your sea vessel, be our guest. If you want to be cool with "da kids," write in text form. Just don't mix the two together.
Just A Fart In The Wind
Right off the bat, we just hope that this guy wasn't trying to use a fart joke for the name of his boat. However, it seems like that is exactly what this particular individual was going for. All we can do is shake our head and write a couple of sentences about how we disapprove of this one. What's funny is how unfunny this boat name is. Does that make sense? No. Now that we think about it – it doesn't.
I'm On A Boat!
When you are making tons of money, you can be excused if you choose to splash the cash and become a little more laid back when it comes to how you budget. Buy another house, buy a new car, heck, why not buy yourself a boat? However, it appears that this particular guy is an exceptional individual. Despite his vast resources, he chooses to be economical and makes sure that every dime counts. When a baller says "no money wasted," we believe him.
B-Yond Rude
Some boat names are just flat-out rude. Although this guy had a lightbulb moment and thought up his own little pun, he didn't take into account how people would feel when reading it. Who is he aiming this name at? Is it an ex? Or maybe it's just his way of say, "Yes! I have a boat!" Most of the time, owning a boat is, in itself, an ostentatious display of one's wealth. However, that doesn't mean you need to curse!
Capital Pun-ishment
The puns just keep on coming in this pun-tastic list! We've had them all already – "knot shore," "carp diem," "seas the day." It got to a point when we were pretty sure that there were no other puns available that revolved around boats. Then this guy came along, purchased his own boat and named it "Reel Therapy." We know that taking to the waters can be as cathartic as any other pastime. Yet this guy was prepared to celebrate this relaxing activity…with a pun.
Sea What I Did There?
Another page, another pun. We are convinced that this particular owner was simply trying to hit home just how quick he can steer his boat. In this cutthroat life of a sailor, you just want to take to the shores of Florida and pretend you're Sonny Crocket, fighting crime on the Miami waters and convincing yourself that it is still the 80s. In reality, though, you bought yourself a boat and you gave it an underwhelming name.
Double The Pun
Double the fun! Why not have one pun when you can have two? How about a couple of puns? Let's face it, half of the other boat owners on this list have already used the word "knot" in their name. Why not tag along with another pun to win the "Pundial?" That's Spanish for World Cup, by the way. Mundial, but with a "p." Oh no, now we're explaining our own pun. That's when you know you're desperate for laughs. Somebody punish us!!
Til' Boat Do Us Part
Relationships can be tough. There will be plenty of situations when you have to choose between your spouse and something/somebody else in your life. Maybe you want to go out for drinks with your friends after work. However, your significant other wants to cuddle up on the sofa and watch that new movie on TV. For this guy, he had to choose between his girlfriend and his new love, a boat. She may not have broken up with him, but she is still furious.
Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way
Many people cannot look back and assess whether they have made good or bad decisions in their lives. They either live in a constant state of regret or an endless state of disillusionment. Self-awareness involves the ability to logically asses oneself and the decisions one has made. Very few people can look back on a mistake, realize that they messed up, but not beat themselves up over the regret they feel. This boat-owner is one of the very few self-aware people in this world.
Cooze Bruise
Ever heard of a booze cruise? Of course you have. That's the dream. Who doesn't love the idea of going on a boat and drinking until you can't tell the difference between Sly Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger? One day, when this sailor had a boat party, his guests realized that he hadn't decided on a name yet for it. He ended up going with "Totally Sober." Then, in that very moment, he hung himself over the side and started painting the name onto the boat.
In Memory Of…
This is what happens when a sad story makes its way through the internet. It eventually gets lost in translation, becomes a meme, and becomes so trivial that people forget the original story. Harambe was a gorilla in a zoo who came in close contact with a three-year-old. However, a zoo worker intervened and shot the gorilla to make sure nothing happened to the child. So here we are a few years later, and here is one of many people who is using Harambe's name in vain.
Crisis Averted?
In life, we can go through all sorts of crises. The most common one has to be the midlife crisis, which a lot of people experience and handle in different ways. However, there are some individuals who experience a crisis earlier on in life – specifically, after finishing college. "What am I going to do next with my life?" "What am I going to do with all these worthless qualifications?" Etc, etc. You know what the right answer always is? BY A BOAT!
My Office
Like many things in life, the traditional workspace is constantly in a state of evolution. The classic office is simply one of many legitimate places that one can call their place of work. Many people have rooms at home that they use as their office. Others rent out office space for their own personal work time. However, there are also those who conduct all of their business in – yes, you guessed it – a boat. Take this man, for example, who is permanently in the middle of a long conference call. Maybe.
Honest & To The Point
We get the impression that many sailors like to keep things fairly simple. No-nonsense seems to be the name of the game when taking to the waters. Take this guy for example, who simply wants to sail away and enjoy the soothing sea. However, if that was really the case, then we'd assume that he would have called the boat "No Bullship." In that case, we are thinking about retracting everything we just said. This is Bullship.
Kinda Knot
In life, everything is borrowed. You enter this world with nothing, you die with nothing. Ok, with that life lesson out of the way, let's cut to the chase. You either own a boat, or you don't – plain and simple. How dare this person use their boat's name to basically highlight their wishy-washy indecisiveness? Dude, the boat is one of three things. Either it's in your name, you co-own it, or you stole it! We don't care which one it is, just choose!
Pug Life
What happens when you combine a boat with a gang of pugs? That's right folks, a "pugboat." Not exactly a tugboat, but you can tell that these cute little hounds are having a "whale" of a time.
The Answer Is Ea-sea
It takes a real man to know that he's boss, especially when it comes to the big blue. But what qualifies a man to know that he's in charge of the ocean? There's no saying who would win in a fight between this Señor and a Señor shark who wants his right arm, but we wouldn't pick a fight with him ourselves if he's earned this title. It seems like he's just here to chill – but don't get in his way.
Just What The Doctor Ordered
These days, temperatures seem to be rising all over the world. Hot temperatures can lead to hot tempers at home, but out at sea, it's hard to stay mad at anything for too long. Nothing against anger management but…have you tried anchor management? What doctors and therapists spend years training for and people spend thousands of dollars on, the sea can often do for free. This guy believed a boat was a better investment, and we think he just might be on the money.
He Couldn't Help Himself
When Tom realized how much he loved cruises, he realized two very important things: that he should buy a little cruiser boat, and that by all reasoning it would then technically become Tom's Cruise. There may be another Tom out there who has strange feelings about this, but we like to think he has enough going for him in his own life – a major acting career, a lot of money, and probably a few boats of his own – to let this young skippy have his fun.
Not A Sea-Nile Purchase
Everybody spends their youth wanting to grow up, but getting older comes with its fair share of struggles. Things like driving, exercising, and remembering the busy tasks of everyday life get a lot harder. But if there's one place where you don't really need any of that, it's out at sea. It really makes us question what the true challenges in life are. If life is so much easier on a boat, maybe we shouldn't all wait until things get sea-nile to hit the waves.
Cashed In And Sail Out…Fast
There are few things a lawyer dreads hearing more than the words "blank check." Giving one of these to someone requires the biggest sense of trust, and having that trust broken can lead to the biggest consequences. Cashing in enough for a personal boat probably wasn't what the benefactor had in mind. But how else would the beneficiary be able to get away fast? Still, if he's trying to keep a low profile, giving his boat this name might not be such a bright idea.
Follow Your Dreams, They Said
It's important to follow your dreams in life. Everybody has different dreams for themselves, as we all should. But for a fair amount of people around the world, having a boat is up there on the list. It does seem like this boat was a pretty special dream to a pretty special person, which just begs the question: is the reality as good as the dream was? Unless they're the type to sail and tell, we'll never know.
Our House, In The Middle Of The Sea
They say when you're out at sea, every hour is happy hour. Being on a boat itself is an incomparable joy, but there's even something to be said for just having one and knowing that happiness is always just a quick sail away. We can't be sure who "ours" refers to, but we have a good feeling it's a happy couple who have their priorities straight in life.
You've Been A Bad Boat
We've gotta be careful with personification, but this boat seems like it has a real personality. The person sailing her must be a risk-lover, because out at sea, you certainly wouldn't want your boat to misbehave…Or maybe we just read this wrong and got carried away. For a girl who loves all things nautical, this boat must be a dream come true. And for the rest of us, it's still a dream waiting to happen.
You Only Live…Adrift?
A wise hermit crab once told a little mermaid with big dreams, "everything's better down where it's wetter." Yola could be someone's name, or it could mean the person who bought this boat is set on a life adrift at sea. But we sure hope they stay safe, because if anything bad were to happen to the boat, being adrift in the water would certainly not be as enjoyable – especially not for the rest of their life!
The Best Form of Retirement
Retirement is a period for folks to pursue their life long hobbies, which the demands of their everyday job do not allow them to enjoy. What better hobby to pick up after retiring than fishing on your own boat? The owner of this boat found the best name for his vessel as he is reel-ly retired. It is a symbol of the long years of hard work and the years of leisure ahead.
In a Minute
The name of this boat suggests that it is probably the fastest in the world. Imagine a boat that arrives at every destination in a minute. The owner is probably an extremely busy individual or one who takes time arriving at a destination. Either way, the person is so accustomed to requesting a minute that they thought it would be a good idea to name their boat "Inaminit." The name of your boat should mirror your lifestyle after all.
The World's Oldest Ship
Even before physical ships came to be, there has always been friendship between people, making it the oldest "ship" in the world. It is the most important "ship" as well. One can imagine that this boat was a gift from a friend. It could also be that it is co-owned by lifelong friends. Whatever the case may be, the boat is perfect for hanging out with friends.
C's and Seas
From the name of the boat, you can tell that the owner is a big lover of music. A trumpet is even attached to the area where the name of the boat is engraved. The high C's in music, as well as the seas, have one thing in common, they both have the ability to take you on a great wave you would enjoy. This is a name that was well thought, even though it is quite hilarious.
Changes in L'attitudes
Changes in L'attitudes is a nice play on words to combine attitude and latitude. Well, just as the human attitude can change due to uncomfortable situations and switches in temperament, the latitude of a boat could also change due to turbulent weather conditions. The name is therefore quite telling on the similarities between human attitude and latitude.
Master Baiter
One common thing about the names of these boats is that their meanings are usually not literal. One can therefore not be sure if the owner of this boat named it "Master Baiter" for his fishing skills or because of an ability to bait humans. If it is the former, it is a very thoughtful name, and if it is the latter, it is a nice play on words. One thing is certain, the owner is good at whatever they do.
Empty Pockets
This boat must have cost a fortune for it to be named "Empty Pockets" by the owner. It is probably a retirement plan or something to use as a means of livelihood. However, it is a brutally honest name to give your vessel. The owner has a boat nonetheless and that counts for something.
Oasis
An Oasis is a refuge and place of rest, and this is what this boat must be to its owner. It is, however, a bit confusing as the seas are not known to be all that gentle. Putting an oasis on the sea is therefore quite unusual. On a side note, a lot of funnier names appear on this list.
Be Sure To Have It
You can tell that the owner of this boat probably had issues with the attendees of cruise parties on their former boat and their beer consumption. This is why the boat bears the name "Dijabringabeeralong" which translates to "Did you bring a beer along?" It is therefore granted that beer is the requirement to get on this boat. One must be sure to take one along if they wanted to enjoy the cruise parties.
Liquid Asset
Is a boat a liquid asset? A quick Google search would suggest otherwise. This, therefore, makes the name of this boat quite strange, unless you think of it literally of course. A boat is an asset, and it is used on waters like seas and rivers which are liquid, thereby making it a "liquid asset". How brilliant is that? The owner of this boat must have felt like a genius after coming up with this name.
Addicted To The Sea
Many have asked the age-old question: can there be too much of a good thing? When it comes to spending time out at sea, we're of the firm belief that the answer is no. But if they love their aquatic lifestyle as much as this boat makes it seem like they do, there's a good chance we'll see this boat sail away and never make its way back to the dock. Needless to say, there are worse things to love this much.
I Got The Boat
Marriage can be hard work at the best of times. However, if one's relationship doesn't work out, a divorce can be a logistical nightmare. Thankfully, for this recent divorcee, he had his boat to turn to for an easy form of shelter. While figuring out where to live next after being kicked out, he decided to give his boat a temporary name to clarify the ongoing arrangement. Don't worry though, friend. You know what they say, there's plenty more fish in the sea!
Quickest Boat Ever?
Remember Usain Bolt? Of course, you do. What sort of question is that? If you don't, where have you been for the last ten years? Sprinter Usain Bolt represented Jamaica at the last few Olympic games and is currently the world record holder in a number of races, such as the 100 meter, 200 meter, and the 4 x 100 meter relay. So it would make sense that someone would name a boat after him. However, we doubt that his boat is as quick as Usain.
Knot Good Enough
We are pretty "shore" that this was meant to be a funny pun, but unfortunately, it didn't really land. At first, we speculated that Knot Shore might actually be a place and this boat was simply honoring where it came from. However, after some intense research, we have come to the conclusion that the owner was trying to be clever. He was unsuccessful, and that is something we are definitely "shore" about. We promise that not all of these boat names are pun-centric.
The Best Reason To Get A Boat
Some people buy boats because they love fishing. Others simply can't resist the serenity of the open water. This guy purchased his boat for a different reason. After binge-watching AMC's The Walking Dead, he decided that the time had come to prepare for the inevitable zombie apocalypse. He decided the best move would be to sell all of his belongings, buy a boat, fill it with food and supplies, and wait for the zombies. He's been waiting for four years.
"Carp" Diem
Look, we get that a lot of people subscribe to the saying "Carpe Diem." This is the Latin expression that translates into English as "seize the day." Once again, the pun wizards are at work here! However, we can't ignore the huge elephant in the room; where this boat is located. We didn't realize that there were rivers and seas in the desert-filled landscape of Las Vegas. Who knows, maybe this is a boat-themed casino. If there was ever a place to "seas the day," then it's Vegas, baby!
Source: https://bridesblush.com/trends/funny-boat-names-tb-3/39/
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